Leading Lady

One of the things I love about dancing, although it took me a long time to get used to it, is following. I like that there is one part of my life in which I am not in charge and I don’t have to make decisions. I like the old fashioned idea of men asking women to dance, although I’m not averse to doing the asking. I like the idea of being swept off my feet by a handsome man… (hey, a girl can dream!).

On the social dance floor the majority of people will be dancing in male-female couples with the man leading. But you do see female-female couples and (less often) male-male couples. I have a few good friends who really enjoy switching roles, and I know a number of women who lead very well and men who follow very well (some with way better female styling than me!).

So far in my dancing life (which is still less than three years), I’ve not been keen on leading. I have a lot to learn as a follower, and I haven’t felt the need to lead. Until recently. I took a kizomba class not long ago where, for a warm-up exercise, we switched roles. At first I wasn’t keen, but I actually found I enjoyed the experience. And this led me to think that maybe I should give leading a go…

So I’ve started taking beginner’s salsa classes ‘as a boy’, and it’s challenging! Switching everything around to the other side, thinking ahead and working out a move, leading the girl to go where you want her to – it’s hard! But it’s also fascinating. I’ve learnt a lot about myself as a follower so far, which I hadn’t expected. I can see how annoying it is for the lead if the follower leads themselves, or moves around too much – it can be like trying to catch a flapping bird.

So ladies, followers, remember what all your good teachers have probably said to you a thousand times: don’t lead yourself, and if he doesn’t lead you, don’t go! The leads will never learn how to lead you properly if you do.

Acceptance on the social dance floor is a lovely thing. It’s great to be in an environment where everyone can dance with anyone, and when people stop and stare it’s just because you’re doing something awesome.

Kizomba with Charlotte

Sisters doing it for themselves

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